


The Diary of Mr. Kitty

by SaraJaye



Category: South Park
Genre: Cats, Diary/Journal, Gen, Hiding, POV First Person, Present Tense, References to Drugs, Some Memes - Freeform, episode - Major Boobage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15279903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: What was really going through the mind of Cartman's cat during the whole cheesing fiasco.





	The Diary of Mr. Kitty

Day 1: Fat Kid put me in the attic and gave me a diary. Says cats are illegal now because of some "cheesing" fad, but what do cats have to do with cheese and why is cheese bad? Sometimes I think Fat Kid went off his rocker a long time ago-I mean, I'm a _girl!_ What kind of messed up moron names a _female_ cat _Mister_ kitty?! Oh well, at least it's roomy up here and there's a window I can look out of.

 

Day 3: Convinced Fat Kid to let me bring home a few friends. Amazing, he didn't even care when his grandma died but all we have to do is look at him with sad eyes and he's putty. Silly human! He doesn't realize he's given us the perfect chance to hammer out our master plan...

 

Day 6: Things are progressing smoothly. Fat Kid has no idea and keeps getting suckered in by our doe-eyes. Eat your heart out, puppies! We cats can _so_ do the weepy-eyed thing and get results, and _this_ is why we'll easily be able to take over the world.

...oh, don't look at me like that, Ceiling Cat. It's a perfectly valid plan and you know we're destined to rule!

 

Day 8: We've hit a snag. While Fat Kid was talking to some old lady his friend in the orange coat who used to die all the time came up and started messing with us, making us spray and pee everywhere and sniffing it up and going bonkers! Fat Kid got him out before things got ugly and got the rest of our friends up here, but I don't think anyone's gonna forget that for a while.

(Oh, and I found out what cheesing is. It's getting high off our pee and that's what the orange-coat kid was doing, go figure. Fat Kid's still off his rocker, though.)

 

Day 11: Our plans are taking shape at last. Humans are easy to manipulate and every day our ranks grow. This cheesing fad's the best thing that's ever happened to us cats!

 

Day 12: NO! This can't be! Apparently they changed their minds and made cats legal again, now Fat Kid's gonna let us all go free! We were doing so well, too!

Hmph. Now we'll all have to meet in secret again like we used to, in someone's yard or an alley.

Damn humans.


End file.
